I have never been one who does very well with change. Actually, I hate it. I am having a very difficult time because today is my youngest son’s last day of daycare and he will be starting pre-k on Monday. I don’t know why but I cannot stop crying. Don’t get me wrong, I am very excited that he will be going to “big boy school” but I worry about how the change in schedule and environment will affect him.
I have feared this day for months. I love his daycare provider and I have entrusted her to take care of my son the past few years. I will admit, I have noticed changes in her the past couple months. I felt as though she just didn’t have the motivation she once did. However, regardless if they didn’t do as many crafts or play outside, I have absolutely no fear when my son is in her care. I know that she will take excellent care of my little boy, and I also know that she loves my little boy.
Last week I was dropping my son off and Miss Kim came outside to grab him for me. I remember looking at her and she just had this look of devastation on her face. I know that look all too well. I asked her if everything was ok, and she said that she just found out her husband is having an affair! Sadly, I figured that was the reason. There is a different look between an upset woman, and a betrayed woman. They just came back from a 9 day vacation to the Caribbean! They looked like the picture perfect family! How could he do this to her? How could he do this to HIS son? She knew what I had been through with John and because of this, I think it was very easy for her to confide in me. She told me she had suspected something was going on since February but was unable to prove it. Through GPS tracking, she was able to locate him in a parking lot. She drove there and saw him with another woman! She left once she saw and later confronted her husband and that is when he admitted to her that he was having an affair. She is still in a state of shock and is absolutely devastated.
It is clear to me now as to why she looks tired. I understand why the kids don’t go outside to play as often as they once did. I understand why she doesn’t have that sparkle in her eye anymore. I know how it feels to be betrayed by the person who is supposed to love and respect you more than anyone! I know how it feels to have to get up every morning and go on about your day like your world hasn’t just come crashing down. I know the feeling of holding back the tears when you look at your kids and think, how the hell is this going to affect their lives? I know the feeling of wanting to just be left alone to sulk in the misery that is now your life. I know, I have been through it, and I understand. Not only did her husbands selfish choices affect her life, it has also affected her career! This is a woman who loved being with children! She loved what she did and she was so good with those kids! Of course, she is still good with them and I still trust her, but her motivation is gone. His poor choices and complete selfishness stripped that away from her! Kim has already met with an attorney to discuss divorce. I wish nothing but the best for her and her son. I hope that one day she will be able to regain that sparkle.
Sadly, so many people are dealing with the effects of infidelity and so many families are destroyed due to one partners selfishness. . .
“Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. . .”