I have been blogging for almost a year and I have learned so much from everyone here. This has been a great outlet for me and I am so happy to have a place where people understand and are in similar situations as myself. I have learned a lot, and continue to learn every day. Infidelity sucks this I know, but I also know that it CAN and WILL get easier.
I guess my situation is different then some because I am in love with a serial cheater, but regardless of the difference or amount of affairs, it still sucks and it still hurts. This past week I sat back and re-read the first few posts of my blog. I must say, I have come a long way from this time last year. I couldn’t believe how I was so angry all the time, and I can honestly say that I am no longer angry. Yes, of course it still hurts, but I wasted the past year of my life being angry. I had every right to be angry after all John put me through, but I finally realized that my anger in no way helped my situation or made me feel better, so I had to let it go.
So many things in my life have changed the past few months, and most have been changes for the better. Selling our business was very scary but it was also a huge sigh of relief. I am only one person and juggling a 24/7 business and a family is virtually impossible. I handled the situation with Nicki finding my blog in ways that if you asked me last year or even 6 months ago, I would never have handled it that way. At 35 it is sad to say that I have grown up, but I believe I have. I have learned that John is broken and there is nothing I can do to fix him. I have accepted that his cheating is about him, and it is not about me. I have learned to let go of resentment, anger and rage and can honestly say I have been a happier person! I have learned how to forgive many, not only John.
My biggest lesson was from Super Ty the most amazing little boy who lost his battle with brain cancer a few weeks ago. He changed my life and I truly believe he had a lot to do with the woman I am now. Life is too short to be angry all the time. You would be surprised how much better you feel when you eventually make the decision to try to just let go of the anger and move forward. I am not saying to forget, or not process your feelings, but the anger? Just try to just let the anger go! I promise you, it will be well worth it!
“It’s time for you to stop being so afraid. It’s time for you to let go of the past. What happened, happened. It doesn’t matter how many times you go over it in your head and think about what you should have done. It’s too late. It’s not going to change anything. You can’t change the past, but you can better shape your future.”