Wow, I feel like I have not been here forever. I have so many blogs to catch up on, it will probably take me days. However, tomorrow for me will be “catching up on all you missed Monday!”
I don’t have many excuses as to why I have not been blogging, but I will make a few. I have been busy with life in general, my website, shopping, holidays, kids and all. But really, I find myself in some sort of “funk” (can’t come up with something better.) I don’t know, one would think I am depressed maybe? And for the first time, it truly has nothing to do with John! Speaking of the devil, he has been truly amazing which at times, makes me want to punch him in the face! (Ironic you think?) He has been so very attentive and I just do not know who this man is before my eyes! I mean, of course its my John, but I have seen such a complete transformation! He has always adored me and showed me a great deal of love and affection even when he was out having sex with other women,(huh??) but. . . this is different. I can’t explain it, but he has this look and it s real. I have not had any issues with him whatsoever. I really didn’t want to post that because as soon as I give him one ounce of credit, he usually does something to mess it up.
Wednesday was his birthday and we had a great day! He really wasn’t up to doing much, so we just hung out at home and relaxed. Thanksgiving we stayed home in our pajamas all day and it was wonderful! We did not do Thanksgiving (with family)this year and I must say it was great! Usually I have 16-20 people in my house and I run around all morning long like a chicken without a head, but this year, it was just the 3 of us and it was incredible! (Oldest was with my ex-husband in NY) We watched this show called Million Dollar Listings (I think that’s what it is called) marathon on TV and just relaxed. I cannot tell you how nice it was! Probably not the most formal Thanksgiving, but it was the best I have had in a long time.
This was also the 1st year in over 18 years that I did not participate in Black Friday shopping! I always go to the stores every year, I live for it! But for some reason, I just wasn’t feeling it this year. The look on John’s face was priceless when I told him I wasn’t going! He couldn’t stop telling me how proud he was of me for conserving money and not spending! Ha, well, I may not have physically went out to the stores, but I did make sure I took advantage of all the great deals all my favorite stores had to offer online of course! I love shopping online and I love the fact that he hasn’t a clue as to what I order! 10 steps ahead, always, or so I thought. . . but Saturday I had a terrible migraine and I was in bed and when John came home I heard all this noise like banging noises coming through the door. I dragged myself out of bed to see John dragging in package after package! UPS and Fed-X just left my packages at the door and I never heard the knock! I was so surprised because I just made an order at Kohl’s on Wednesday at 3pm. They kicked off their sale early, and gave $15 Kohl’s cash for every $50 spent, plus I had a coupon! However, I would NEVER have imagined the packages would be there by Saturday considering Thursday was Thanksgiving and I just ordered standard shipping. Needless to say, he was less than thrilled. He told me that the reason I didn’t go black Friday shopping was because I already bought everything! (Toysrus.com and Victoria’s Secret came that day too!) Please, if he only knew! That is just the beginning! From now on I will be more cautious of the door!
Besides shopping and John actually being a normal man, I can’t stop thinking about death especially kids dying. Ever since Ty died, all I think about is kids with cancer and kids that have died from cancer and all the families that will spend Christmas with one empty seat at the dinner table this year. I really don’t know any other way to put it except to just come out and say that I am obsessed with Childhood Cancer and death. I read about it all the time, I think about it all the time. John always says to me “why do you read this stuff if it makes you cry?” I can’t stop reading it, and I don’t want to! I want to do something big and I want to help change the world and the funding of Pediatric Cancer. I am sure that many of you will read this and roll your eyes and laugh, but this is coming from a girl who when everyone tells me I can’t do something, I do it and I usually do it ten times better than someone else would. I feel like this is my calling, I don’t know. I don’t even know if I actually believe in callings, but it sounded good, didn’t it?
I don’t know. Things have been going so well in my life and I feel like I am very fortunate that I have to do something to help others. I guess I don’t feel like I have to, I want to.
“The man who moves a mountain, begins by carrying away small stones. . .”